She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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