Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
