We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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