I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
