That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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