they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize