She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
