i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize