She said her name was "party"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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