New invention idea: vibrating tampons
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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