Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize