I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
