i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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