the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
