dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A bitchslap is in order.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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