plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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