I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
