hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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