this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
