Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
