im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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