Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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