belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.