Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.