Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
