i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
