Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
