I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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