i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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