I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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