we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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