dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize