that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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