There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
