can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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