Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
