Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
