forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
