would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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