im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
