allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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