They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
