i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
