Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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