i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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