new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
