Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
