Your mouth is God's brothel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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