There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Randomize
