well you can't waste a boner
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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