I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize