I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
