Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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