Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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