This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
