Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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