i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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