I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
