dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
