Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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