dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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