Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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