Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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