I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
